... He Calls Me By Name ...

January 13th, 2008 was a Sunday. I woke up before Aaron and started to get ready for church. Before I jumped in the shower, I thought I would ease my mind by taking a little test. I hate tests. I stink at them. This one was easy. I passed with flying colors. What a difference one little line can make. I had two little lines. This means I passed. My first reaction was not one my Mom would have been proud of :) I said a word she wouldn't have liked. Knowing my history with tests, maybe I assumed I would fail. I really didn't think much of it and then I looked down and freaked out ... Aaron was asleep and woke up to my antics. He was shocked. We both were. We were happy-shocked if you know what I mean. Apparently, we are fertile. Good to know. Random to admit, but oh well. Anyway, we had about 9 months to get ourselves together and that is just what we did. We planned, hoped, gagged and slept a lot (well, not we, but I did), painted (thanks Michele!), we just dreamed about how and what would be different come September. This blog probably documented most of that time.

And we had no idea ... the amount of work and sleepless nights that were coming ... we are still learning how much sacrifice it takes to parent. I am amazed every day, sometimes every minute, how much God is using this little person to teach me how much I need Him. But for all of the sacrifice, we also had no idea how much love would pour out of us. I didn't even know there was a place in my heart for that kind of love. And still, I am amazed everyday, sometimes every minute at how much God is using this little life to show me how much He loves me and how little I know about love and sacrifice.

Literally, 20 minutes ago, I looked up from the packaging copy I was writing (for Sanctus Real's new project, Pieces Of A Real Heart, coming out on 3/9/10 - it's awesome by the way and you need to buy it) and thought to call Brody and Aaron at home to take a little break and get the boost of energy I need to finish this up. Sometimes when I call home, Aaron will put the phone on speaker phone and I will sing to Brody. He is taking a music class and loves it. We are really enjoying it too and I was working on one of his new favorite songs. So far the only word he has said is Pop (used in perfect timing) in the song, Pop Goes the Weasel. He did that for us right on cue over the phone. I love those moments. I can't sing at all so I sing very low hoping no one at work hears me. But still, those are always the best parts of my day. Anyway, at some point in the conversation, Aaron said, "ok, Brody, say goodbye to Momma." ... not at all expecting anything from him, but this time he did it ... what I had been waiting to hear since January 13th, 2008. Two years to the very day I passed my test. Almost perfectly, Brody said very simply, "momma!"

I still don't think I have caught my breath. I just kept saying, "oh my goodness" ... over and over. He won't do it again. And that is typical Brody. Don't ask for too much. What I give you is just enough. Wait! Maybe that is more like what God is trying to teach me ... I will have to think on that one ...

But for today ... what a gift! To be called by name! So thankful my God calls me by name ... and now ... my son does too!

... then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

2 Chronicles 7:13-14 (NLT)

Happy {NEW} Year!

{NEW}.

Ah, sounds so good to me!

I need {new} right now.

I am craving {new}!

Welcome 2010! I am so ready for you to be here! Please bring happy things! I love that after Christmas comes ... a {new} year. Jesus and then ... {new}! Isn't that just like Him! He brings ... {new}.

Can you tell I am pumped up and ready to wash away 2009 and bring on 2010 yet. I am journeying on looking forward to this year.

December 31st is almost always a nostalgic day for me. This year though I feel like I am standing at the cusp of something. Just ready for it ... whatever, it is and slowly I am starting to feel more alive then before. I pray God kindles the fire He is starting in my heart and provides me with the courage to walk the road He has for me!

I am praying for these things in the {new} year ...

• Spending some time seeking the maker of all things {new} and what He has up His sleeve for our family!
• Growing as a parent. Watching our little man grow. Seeking God's wisdom for guiding this precious soul through life.
• Understanding the story He has given me (and us) and how I can use that in the place He has me now.
• Finding a way to get my baby sister closer to me! This is starting to become more of a necessity rather than a hope. My heart can't take many more miles or time between us. Sisters weren't meant to live apart.
• Being more grateful for the people in my life. Spending time with our parents and sharing the joys of the watching our son and their grandson grow.
• Finding my community. A soft place to land, with real, loving, forgiving people. Who know your story and love you anyway.
• and finally, being me & being perfectly ok with that!

~ Welcome 2010 ~

Going Home ...

We are leaving in the morning to go "home" for the weekend. This will be the first time ... I won't have anyone in my family to go home to. It's weird. I am struggling with the fact that there is not Weaver house in Princeton anymore. I moved away in 2002. My parents moved in December ... well, Dad finally moved then. The past couple of days I have been thinking about the people and relationships that I had there who helped form who I am. I feel like I am grieving relationships, choices, memories, and things about life that happened years ago. Lately, I have played the "what if" tape a lot. So tonight, I am trying to re-focus myself back to "what is"

Here are some Halloween pictures from Brody's first trick or treating adventure!

We laughed so hard ... he was adorable as Yoda. He ended up falling asleep halfway through trick or treating :)

He is growing so fast. Who knew having a kid could be so much fun!

Confessions That Won't Make Me Cool ...

Let's be real ... I do not have time for this blog. I should not be writing in this moment. I am at work and I have way too much to do, but I can't shake these little thoughts in my head. I was thinking to myself, if some people knew these things about me, they might check me off their cool list. Then I felt the Holy Spirit say, who cares? Why are you keeping these thoughts to yourself? I don't think you will be any better for reading this, but I will be in the light of who my maker made me to be ... so here are my confessions for today ...

• I have never really cared about U2. I am sure they are a great band and I hear their live show is amazing, but nothing in my life so far as drawn me to them. Maybe someday. I feel sure Bono is a nice guy, but I don't know him. However, I do like his glasses. Lately I am pretty turned off at every tweet or post about who is going to their show or who is watching the live feed. I don't know why.
• I really hate NPR ... it puts me to sleep. I feel pretentious just listening to it. I don't want those voices putting thoughts in my head or making me think ... I would rather listen to a song or see a tree that causes me to pause and ponder. That probably sounds stupid ... again, I don't care.
• I have a really twisted sense of humor. I generally laugh at things that should not be funny. This often causes my mom to be embarrassed of me and my husband to be turned on ... and therein lies another reason why sometimes I feel caught between the two of them.
• I struggle with being true to who I am ... I am constantly wanting to be shaped or formed by anyone but the being that dreamt me up ... seeing it written convicts me to the stupidity of that. Why do I care what another broken soul thinks of me? They too are broken! Eeeekkk!

4 random ramblings for today that do not seem all that positive. Oh well. It's truth. I am going back to do work now. Happy Monday!

We're Crawling ... Everywhere!

Much to my dismay, Brody recently picked up crawling. It's all my mother's fault ... she felt the need to teach him where his knees were. I like to have him crawl down the hallway to me! We were practicing crawling the other day! Here are two videos of his attempts. The first time he doesn't quite make it, but it will make you laugh. Don't worry, he only cried for a second and we were back at it again :)

Inviting The Glorious Into The Mundane

As you can tell it has been a month since I have posted. We now have a 10 month old who sleeps in his own room, plays with his toys on his own, and can crawl across the room to pull on my legs when he wants to be held. What a blessing we have been given! Yet in the day-to-day, I am struggling to figure out how I will love on him enough while I am getting ready for work so that he knows he is loved while I am away. I long to be sitting on the back porch with him playing with his shapes and water bucket at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. And at 5:30 I race home all the way praying that God will give me the strength to be present with him in the few hours I have before he goes to bed. I am so tired and drained from all of the energy that the day requires from me that when I get home I don't feel like there is much left of me to give. The details of life have been stealing my joy and clouding my vision, keeping me from enjoying the blessings God has given me ... like a husband who gives up his time to help take care of Brody so he doesn't have to be in daycare, a boy whose eyes light up when I walk into the room, a job that I love and that I feel like I am good at doing even on the rough days. I have allowed all of that to be taken from me. I am reposting this video blog from Christy Nockels. There will be more to come, but today it gave me that kick in the pants that I needed and the reminder that if I just invite God into the details of my life, ask Him to fill in the gaps of my humanity, I can be the wife, mother, daughter, sister, and worker that He created me to be.

Here is the blog from Christy Nockels ... more coming soon!

Being A Mom {Part 1} from christy nockels on Vimeo.

9 Months!!!

Our little man is 9 months old today. Hard to believe he has been in the world longer than he spent growing and fluttering around inside of me. He is so much more than I ever imagined he would be ... my cup is full. I still can't believe that God let's me be his momma!

Here are some pictures that might make you smile!

On Becoming An Aunt!

There are a couple times in my life that I have been lovingly referred to as "Aunt Jess." I have always been grateful to my sweet friends that allowed me to love their kids as if I were their Aunt. I always wondered what it would be like to be a real Aunt someday. My Aunt has always been special to me, I hope that I can pass along some of that love I have received from her just the same!

So, when Brody was just a couple of months old my sister called and casually reminded me of how I thought it would be fun for Brody to be a cousin someday and then said, well that day will be sooner than later! I was a bit shell shocked just because I hadn't expected it {still not sure why, they have been married for 5 years} but so elated. As the months have passed, the idea of Brody being so close (exactly 9 months and 4 days to be exact) older than his cousin Levi has made me so happy! We never really had cousins that we were close to growing up so I am excited for him to have that in his life.

Turns out that my sister only does big events in the month of June {her birthday, anniversary, and now birth of her first child}. And little Levi is not so little and breech so she has been scheduled for a c-section on June 16th. I have been so upset that I will miss it {she flew in at the last minute when B was born and that will remain to be the best gift she ever gave me}. Aaron knew I was really struggling with not being there but I wasn't sure how to make it happen. This morning he helped me figure out how to get there so now it looks like I will fly up on Monday and back on Wednesday. I am so grateful to him for helping me go and be a part of this. Then we will fly back together {the entire Chambers Clan} at the end of this month. I cannot wait to look into the face of this little man and tell him all about his cousin that can't wait to meet him. Furthermore, I can't wait to tell him when he is older how lucky he is to have such an incredible momma! My sister doesn't do anything half way and when it comes to matters of the heart, she may put up a good front, but Levi is going to be so loved and taken care of and more importantly, pointed in the direction of the One that matters most. So next Christmas, the Weaver's will gather around the tree and this time it will be about watching the eyes of the two little boys as they discover the lights and presents around them. My how time has changed! The two Weaver girls now have two little boys and my dad couldn't be happier because he has waited a long time to give tools and footballs as gifts :)

Look for updates on Baby Levi around June 16th. I can't wait to share them!

And you can refer to me as Aunt Jess now any time you like ... it is a title I will always cherish!

Scooters and Such!

So shortly after I wrote the blog below, I went to Publix all the way contemplating I had just sort of publicly announced that I was ready for God to use me in any way possible. I stood in front of the dessert counter thinking about how great the cheesecake looked and along comes a rather large African American woman on a scooter. She is coming at me, at me, closer, closer and then all of a sudden BAM! She ran right into the dessert counter actually physically MOVING the counter! Her response was, "did I do that?" Um, yes mam, in fact that was you as we are the only two standing here and I promise it wasn't me. So she said, "well let me just back up here ..." and then she realized that she wsa STUCK to the counter! Yep, that is right folks! Cry out to the Lord and say USE ME! and that is just what He will do! So I had to physically extract her from the counter. This took a manly strength that must have come from the Lord as I have always been known to the be weakling in my circle of family and friends. But I did it folks ... I removed her from the counter safely, swiftly, and unharmed. Then I kept passing her in the store and she continued to take liberties with the scooter that I would like to say she wasn't skilled enough to be doing but oh well! I did my part. Lesson learned: be faithful in the small (or in this case, not so small) stuff and God will give you the bigger opportunties. Guess I am still proving myself here as I haven't been moved on yet :)

Speaking of scooters, most of you know that my precious 55 year old dad retired in December! What an answer to prayer for me! I worried myself sick over him living alone in WV and working outside in the cold. Anyway, he is a completely independent, capable, fun-loving guy. We always play jokes on each other ... So, I contacted the Scooter Store recently and asked them to contact him as he was interested in purchasing a Scooter :) Now he gets phone calls, emails, snail mail all letting him know that he can live a perfectly mobile life if he would only purchase a Scooter! HA! I love it! So fun. Needless to say I am in trouble but it is all worth it :)

Now, if only free lessons came with the scooter purchase, Miss Dessert Stand Jolter from Publix wouldn't have almost taken my life at Publix on Friday!

Use Me

So, let's just get it out in the open ... I am a terrible blogger ... I have this kid that I can't take my eyes off of and a husband who I really do enjoy being with so blogging (as well as cleaning, cooking, laundry and a host of other things) has taken a back seat. The problem with blogging is that the writer in me cares way too much about what I write and it takes me too long to put something together. So, I have decided to just type away and not worry about making it all perfect. Which means you, any readers that are left, may have to provide me with a certain amount of grace if and when I cross the line and say something ridiculous or if my grammar isn't perfect (don't judge me based on my English degree). So here are some things that I am loving these days:

1. Aaron's scruffiness! (I have convinced him not to shave so close :)
2. Brody's smiles, laughs, and babbles and the way he smells after a bath
3. Showers that last more than 3 minutes
4. The fact that Kris Allen won American Idol
5. The weather ... when it isn't raining
6. Being at work more (which means I have to fight off the guilt of not being at home with Brody as much so it's a catch 22)
7. Crazy Love ... if you haven't read it ... DO! Now! and then ACT! It does not good if you don't change the way you live once you have the knowledge.
8. Feeling more like myself and not just a new mom
9. Going to yard sales EVERY Saturday
10. The fact that my parents are coming next weekend!

Well, now ... putting it in writing makes me realize how much I am loving life right now!

One other thing I wanted to mention. I hear a lot of new music at work and to be honest, so much of it is lost on me (I am an old school country kind of girl from the mountains of WV) but the other day in a meeting they played some new Switchfoot songs (that were amazing) and another song by a band we signed recently named Abandon. The very first line of this song, titled, Here We Are Now was: "I ask myself, what can I offer you? Can you use someone who already feels used?" Wow, that really resonated with me! The whole song was great but that one line jumped out at me ... Feeling like the veil has just been lifted from my post partum world, I get that "used up" feeling. There are days when I just feel like there isn't an ounce of me left to give to anyone and that goes against all the gifts that God has given me. He made me to be outgoing and lively and social ... an exhorter! And lack of sleep, time, energy, and constant caring for another helpless human robbed me of the ability to be that person again. While I was off whining about the fact that I didn't know where I fit into my own life anymore God had given me this amazing kid and that is what needed my attention at that moment ... to sum it all up ... I know that in my "used" state ... God can use me the most because that is when there is less of me and more of Him. Ok, so publicly to the few readers of this blog and more importantly to the One who matters most I want to say, Jesus, use me ... however! To change a diaper, to encourage someone, to cook dinner, to listen, to give a hug, play in the floor! However Lord. Just put me to work!

Now, here are a few pics of our little man. You know I can't end without sharing!

What A Difference A Year Makes ...

A year ago today Aaron and I saw our little one's heartbeat on the screen for the first time! I will forever have the memory etched in my mind. Dr. Stafford pointed to him on the screen and said, "There is your little peanut right there!" We love Brody Rayf to pieces! I can't imagine life without him in now!

I Wish

When I was pregnant with Brody I posted about a song one of our artists sang for us at devotions called, "I Wish." I promised the lyrics but now I can do even better ... click on the link below to watch Heather Headley sing, "I Wish." It is only about 4 minutes long, you will be glad you watched. Her new album is out now, it's called, "Audience Of One."

PS ... Brody Rayf, you are too young to read yet little one, but Momma has these lyrics written in your baby book and I pray these words over you too baby boy! This is what I wish for you ....

The Journey

So much swirling around in my head so I am just going to swim in this poem that I heard today and I thought that I would share it with you ...

{The Journey}

One day you finally knew what you had to do and began
Though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice --
Though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles

"Mend my life!"each voice cried
But you didn't stop
You knew what you had to do

Though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations
Though their melancholy was terrible
It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones

But little by little, as you left their voices behind
The stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds
And there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own
That kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world
Determined to do the only thing you could do --
Determined to save the only life you could save

~ Mary Oliver ~

Happy New Year! (ps ... I am back!)

First off, I am so sorry for my absence. You will have to give me grace. Becoming a Mom has taken up all of my time. I can't seem to pull myself away from this beautiful bouncing baby boy that God blessed us with! I am not even sure how to begin telling you about him, but here goes: Brody Rayf Chambers was born on 9/12/08 at 6:29 pm and was 7lbs and 10oz and 20 1/2 inches long. So he was about 11 days early :) His name means, "God redeemed from the muddy place." He loves to smile and laugh. We are madly in love with him ... and I could go on and on!

Aaron has falled into his new "daddy" role perfectly. From the beginning he has been so great. He went to every doctor's appt. with me, he let me sleep as much as I needed to, he fixed me about any type of food that I wanted and then in the hospital he was an incredible labor coach. Now that we are home, we have gotten pretty good at becoming a team in this whole parenting thing. I am so excited that we get to share this journey together!

Now, on the eve of this New Year, I am going to attempt to get back to blogging :) We will see how this goes :) Since I have A LOT of less free time now, there may more lists and pictures in the blog rather than me rambling off every detail of my life. I am sure that will make whoever is still reading this blog happy :)

Here are some of the things that happened in 2008 ... (in no particular order by the way and probably lots of exclamation points and smiley faces)

• We found out on January 13th that we were having a baby!
• Aaron turned 30! We had a great surprise party for him!
• Aaron started a new job!
• We learned what it meant to trust God in uncertain circumstances!
• I made the trip to California to spend time with my sister! It was loads of fun!
• We visited my parents & Aunt in Florida in May!
• Aaron bought me my first Mother's Day card :)
• I attended my 10 year class reunion 8 months pregnant :)
• My sweet friends at work threw us a baby shower and gave me one amazing birthday!
• My friends Tristin and Michele threw us the best baby shower in the world!
• We became parents!
• Aaron attended our friend Angela's wedding ... I stayed home with our 3 week old baby :(
• I found out that I am going to be an Aunt in June!!!!!
• Mamaw passed away. We went in to Bluefield for the Memorial Service.
• Brody went to daycare for a day and a half :) Susie jumped in to help us take care of him until we figured out what to do and happend upon the world's most amazing nanny (even if we can only see her on Mondays and Wednesdays:( )!
• I continued fumbling through motherhood and learning how to be me and a mom at the same time.
• We sold the Mustang and purchased a more "family" type car :)
• My dad retired from AEP after 32 years and finally moved to Florida!!!
• All of our family came in for Brody's 1st Christmas!

Here are the things that I am hopeful for in 2009:

• Watching Brody grow and explore the world around him and learn to talk, crawl, and walk.
• Meeting my little niece or nephew in June!
• Walking, talking, and growing closer my Savior!
• Reading more (this is my wish) ...
• Sleeping through the night ... or more than 5 hours straight :)
• Getting back to my role at EMI and working on some amazing projects this year.
• Getting healthy! Well, I don't really care about health, it's more about getting myself back into my jeans again :)
• Watching my sweet friends bring life into the world! Tristin, Laura (what an answer to prayer!), Sosha and the list goes on and on!
• Learning to bake cakes and making one for Brody's 1st birthday party!
• Growing more and more in love with my sweet husband! Celebrating 7 years together in June (actually 11 in October if you could the almost 4 years of dating)!
• Dressing Brody up and taking him out for Halloween!
• Celebrating next Christmas with two "weaver" kids that aren't my sister and I :)

So to sum up, 2008 was probably one of the best years of my life. I felt more loved by my friends and family than I ever have! My hope for 2009 is that I am able to return some of that love, and become an stronger wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. As I write this, I am curled up in my bed, Aaron and Brody are both napping beside me. I feel overwhelming blessed by all that this year has blessed me with and I hope that in 2009 maybe I can focus on being a blessing to those in my life. Happy New Year!

He's Coming ...

Our little man is on his way. Tomorrow I will wake up a wife, daughter, sister, niece, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and grandaughter and go to bed a MOTHER! WOW. I cannot wait to see his little face! I have gotten to spend the last almost 39 weeks getting to know him from a very different point of view. I can tell you he is amazing. He is stubborn (like his dad), he has some legs (like his dad), and he is impaitent (like his mom). I cannot wait to learn all about his other personality traits. But the hardest part is that starting tomorrow I have to share him with the world ... I am not sure I am ready to do that yet :) This motherhood thing is going to be harder than I ever imagined!

Learning A New Kind Of Love ...

We just got back from a whirlwind trip home this weekend! We left on Friday and came back on Sunday. 7 hours + in the car and baby Chambers was not happy about it. He could not get comfortable, he let us know it and my feet were all swollen up. Yucky! Aaron made it fun though. He stopped both coming and going and got us a blizzard! That made it well worth the trip :)

On Saturday morning we went to my little 10 year class reunion but when there is only 14 people in your graduating class it becomes more like a get together. It was lots of fun. There were 8 of us there and if you ask me that is pretty good considering that is half of the class! It was great to see everyone again and catch up. We were all really close 10 years ago and I felt like we picked up where we left off.

Here are a few photos from that adventure ...

Then we went to Aaron's friend Grat's wedding on Saturday night. It was beautiful and I am so glad we made it in to be a part of that! Baby Chambers was too because he really liked the food ... a lot! They are such a cute couple and we love Grat's family! They have always been like extended family to Aaron. Grat's dad, Steve is just precious and he makes me smile. Steve and Kathy (Grat's mom, who is wonderful and makes me laugh) along with Debbie (who is also a close friend of the family and so sweet to us), and Barbara (maybe my favorite family member :) surprised us and showed up for our baby shower. I was so happy that they came! It was lots of fun having them here for that too.

Speaking of the shower ... wow! It was lots of fun! I am not even sure where to start on the decorations. They were amazing! All of it was like a fairytale. I loved it. Tristin and Michele were so good to us. There are so many people who went out of there way to help us welcome this little boy into the world. I wouldn't even know where to to start to thank them. My sister, my parents, and Aaron's mom came in too and it was fun having a house full of people. Anytime I can spend with my family makes me happy and I loved every minute of it!

Here are some pictures from the shower ...My Mom and Dad surprised us and bought us a glider for the baby's room! It is precious and I love it! My sister and I put it together right away ... well, honestly it was mostly her but it was fun to share that with her. I did not want her to leave. I am still wishing she were here :(

Michele finished painting the baby's room. It isn't completely done yet but it is so cute that I have to share some pictures. She is incredibly gifted and did all of this by hand! I am so thankful she is my friend. She has done so much to help me ease into this whole new world of motherhood!

Well, it's time for the Olympics and I have become, yet again, an Olympic widow. Aaron lives for this time like every 4 years - 2 if you count the summer games. I have never met anyone who can spit out stats from the years past and predict winners like he can. I feel sure that he and Bob Costas were meant to be friends. Aaron could step in and do his job any day. I have enjoyed it so far though because he lets me ask him questions and he teaches me about the games. I am amazed though that he can sit and watch fencing at 3 in the morning or beach volleyball all day long. His most favorite though are the swimming events so I try not to talk too much during that time :) He loves Michael Phelps! So much fun to sit back and watch him get excited about these different games.

Work is going great. I am amazed everyday and so thankful for my job. I honestly love it and I am so lucky to work alongside such incredible people. Aaron and I were talking on the way home from our trip this weekend and I guess I had never realized it but I really work about 6 months head of our releases. Once the CD comes out I am kind of out of the loop (unless I screwed something up in the packaging - which hopefully doesn't happen often :) So normally I can tell you all about what we are working on releasing but not much about how it does after we get it on the shelves.

Lately though, I have been drawn to two projects that I have to share here with you. The first is Steven Curtis Chapman's new version of his song, "Yours." After the tragedy of loosing his daughter he wrote a new verse to add to the end of this song. I can't listen to it without getting all teary eyed. I am going to post the words here for you to read ... If you have the chance to listen to it you should. The new verse is highlighted in blue.

Yours

I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I’m reminded every street in London is Yours

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
And they’re waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children’s voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I’m reminded that every child in Africa is Yours

And it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
And it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything

And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila, and Shanghai
I’m brushed by the beggar’s hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize
That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation, this is our Father’s world

And I’ve walked the valley, of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bare
And I’ve questioned everything that I believe
And still even here in this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death, God we belong to You

Since I can't remember when, I have been drawn towards music. I honestly feel God speaks to me through lyrics sometimes. Right now, He is teaching me a whole different type of love. I am learning that this little man growing in my belly is not mine, but His. I just get to be a small part of his life. And if this is true then the same must be of me as well ... I am HIS! What an incredible truth to sit in for today. I know that this will be a struggle for me once our little one is here. Aaron will be able to tell you all about it I am sure ... but He is already preparing my heart to know that this child is a blessing to us but is ultimately His and not ours.

Our gospel division is working with an artist named Heather Headley. If you don't know her ... you should! She won a Tony Award for her work in Aida and has also been on Broadway doing Ragtime and The Lion King. She is an incredibly gifted singer and also seems very genuine in her faith. She came today and sang a song for us that left me in tears. As soon as I can get those lyrics I will post them. The song she sang (and wrote with Keith Thomas by the way) was about wishing just enough for someone ... wishing that they had just enough gray skies to appreciate the blue ones, and wishing they had just enough need to understand what wealth really is. I sat there with my hand on my belly feeling our little guy move. I am filled with so many emotions these days but what I felt the most was hope. Hope for his little life and a passion that he will make God the center of it. That is going to be the song that I write in his baby book.

I pray so many things for him but more than anything I pray he fully understands his need for his Creator and that he finds Him early in his life, and I know, from living my own life, that to understand your need for Him sometimes He lets us get to a place where all we can do is reach out for Him. These are lessons I wish he didn't have to learn on his own but all Aaron and I can do is help him build his foundation so that if and when he falls his foundation is solid and once there he realizes that all he has to do is reach up his hand and God will be there waiting for him.

Our pastor preached one Sunday along time ago about the Prodigal Son. What I remember most from that message is that he said all that the son had to do was start walking towards his father and the father ran to meet him. I try to remember that on the days that I feel like my head doesn't coincide with my faith. In my heart, all I have to do is reach up - even a tiny bit - and He will reach out and grab me and hold on tight. This is what we have to teach our son and then we have to remember that he is God's and not ours and ultimately God will protect him better than we could anyway. This love is what I am learning and I believe it has only just begun.

It has been way too long since my last post! Life has been crazy the last few weeks and it's about to get even crazier. We have something planned every night of the week this week. Last night my friend Katie and I had a shower for our friend Samantha who is getting married in August. We had lots of fun. I am a little bummed though because I managed to break a pitcher that someone gave to me when we got married. It was one of my favorite gifts ... gone :( Oh well. It landed on my foot and then shattered on the ground. I was just glad that Aaron didn't get glass in his foot because it shattered all around his feet and he didn't have any shoes on. I hobbled inside and he put some shoes on and cleaned it all up. Now I have one foot that I cut at the pool (because I am clumsy) and the other foot is all bruised up from the pitcher landing on my foot before it hit the ground. It could be a lot worse. I kept imagining myself 8 months pregnant on crutches ... so I am just glad I didn't break a bone.

We started birthing classes and they are a great source of entertainment for us! The lady teaching the class has never given birth :) great, right! But she is a very qualified nurse ... who would rather not use the diagrams and has no problem being all fours in front of the whole class. I really question whether or not we are adult enough to be parents because we spend most of this class trying not to look at each other or else we will bust out laughing! I feel sure she has seen me red faced and holding my breath on more than one occasion. Also, I am pretty pumped about the fact that one of my favorite members of the group Little Texas is in our class. He has had a solo career and been in other bands since but back in the day he was in Little Texas and I adored him. So that has made the class even better. We have three more to go ... so hang on for more stories from that :)

Work is going great! We found an amazing girl named Jamie to fill in for me while I am out. She is wonderful and has really seemed to catch on quick to all of the little details! Michele has drawn some of the circles in the baby's room. She has one more wall to go and then she can start painting. I am so excited to get all of that set up! I will post pictures as soon as I can. We only have less than 9 weeks until he is here!!! The nesting has begun. Is it too early for that?

And great news!!! We now have a name for the baby! Although, we aren't telling just yet :) We are going to wait until he gets here to share. But it is great and I love it! The best part is that we took our time choosing - only went with the what we both liked and when you put the first and middle names together it has a sweet meaning that we love. We really prayed over what God would have us name this blessing and I honestly believe he gave it to us. I won't say anymore because I may give it all away :)

I have one other shout out to give to my sweet husband! His new job was mentioned in the Nashville Business Journal recently. I am so proud to be his wife! You can go here to view the article (scroll down to the middle of the page) http://nashville.bizjournals.com/nashville/potm/2008-05-26/ or you can read it here ...

Our families are coming in next week for our shower on Saturday. I can hardly wait to have everyone here!!! That is all for now. Here are some pictures from Samantha's shower that we did last night!

July Is Off To A Great Start!

What happened to June? I feel like it must have just flown by! I won't complain, even though it is really hot in Nashville (95 yesterday, 93 today - Jenny and Tristin now I totally understand what it must have been like for you to be pregnant in the summer!!!) July is off to a great start!

My friends at work had a shower for us last Tuesday. It was so much fun! I have some wonderful memories to write in the baby book for sure. Here are some pictures ...

We celebrated the fourth of July at Crockett Park with some friends from our Sunday School class. I had to share pictures of Ethan & Jacob eating their push-up pops :) and Michele and I with our glow necklaces! We had lots of fun.

On Saturday Michele and I painted the baby's room green (or willow wind :) and this week she is going to come over and start painting the circles around the room. She is so talented! I am so glad they decided to leave San Diego for Tennessee! They have been helping us paint and next weekend I think we are going to help them. I say we, but what I should say is Aaron is going to help them :) I get to watch the boys for the day :)

Tristin and Michele are having shower for us in August. It is going to be a barbecue at Tristin and Jacob's house where we can just hang out with our friends and their families. Something really laid back but lots of fun. My parents & sister are coming! Aaron's mom is coming too! It should be lots of fun. Michele hand drew the invitations! They are just like the bedding for our the baby's room! I love them! They have put lots of work into it and I feel so blessed to have friends who are so good to us.

As I am writing this I am reminded how thankful I am that God led us to Nashville 4 years ago. We were so scared - we had no idea what we were doing but we knew we wanted to live here. My job transferred me and Aaron had decided to go back to school. The thought of being even further away from my family broke my heart. But God has given us friends here who are as close as family and such a wonderful life. I know that life has ups and downs and that you can't always be on the moutaintop, but right now I am just feeling the love and support of our family and friends as we are about to start on the next journey in our lives and I am so grateful for all that God has blessed us with and that He placed these incredible people in our lives!

On Sunday Aaron and I celebrated our 6th anniversary! We went to the pool but it was closed because someone had an accident in the pool :( so we went to the indoor pool instead and then went home and watched The Bucket List (because my dad loved it and wouldn't quit talking about it :) and Untraceable (yuck). I spent the day just being so grateful that God put us together and that he has held us together throughout the last 6 years!

And finally, we start our birthing classes on Thursday! So many fun things going on this month! I am sure I will have lots of stories to tell :)

Picture Post!!!

We have had an exciting weekend! We spent all day yesterday (12 hours to be exact) painting the living room, kitchen, dining room, entry & hallway! I say we spent 12 hours but the only one of us who actually made it the whole 12 hours was our friend Michele! She was our project manager and there is no way that we could have done it without her! I had a baby shower for our friend Kristen and Aaron went to pick Michele's husband Mike up from work. Then Aaron and I each made trips out for a Sonic run for all of us and then to get dinner. So Michele was the only one who spent the whole day painting! She is incredibly talented! I am so thankful she is my friend! Here are some pictures!

Aaron wrote our names on the wall :)

And he wrote Mike and Michele's too! You can see Michele is hard at work!

Here we go! Here are some after photos! This is the entry way!

The kitchen!

More kitchen ...

The dining room!

And the living room!

Finally, I have to post a couple pictures from last weekend too! We went to Michele's Mom's house to celebrate her birthday (which by the way was also my precious sister's 25th birthday!) Ethan and Jacob were so cute playing in the yard. I had to take a picture of Ethan. He is adorable!

On Sunday we went to the pool and I snapped a picture of Michele and Jacob playing in the pool with Jacob's new floaty!

I am exhausted but so happy that the painting is done. This weekend we may paint the baby's room!!! Then the painting will be done! I can't wait. I will post some pictures of that too!

There Goes My Squeeky Clean Image ...

One of my most favorite people at work happens to be one of the top executives. His name is David. He likes Disney as much as me and always has fun stories to tell about the places he has been and the things he has seen. Today he stopped by my office to talk about a report he asked me for (which by the way is next to impossible to complete and if I didn't adore him so much I would probably complain about having to do it.) Anyway, my work-best-friend (this is what we call each other) Katie was sitting on the couch in my office (we will pretend we were discussing work). David was being so nice and asked me if I am always so positive - even at home (I am putting up a real good front, right? This is what I thought too) But my WBF, Katie totally blew my cover. She told him that I was not in fact always so chipper and then proceeded to tell him about the time I told her I wanted to light someone (who will remain nameless) on fire!!!! Granted, I was really early in my pregnancy when this happened so I will use this as my excuse. But I can't recover my image from that one :) Thanks Kates! I guess God is really pulling me into that transparency thing, huh :)