Use Me

So, let's just get it out in the open ... I am a terrible blogger ... I have this kid that I can't take my eyes off of and a husband who I really do enjoy being with so blogging (as well as cleaning, cooking, laundry and a host of other things) has taken a back seat. The problem with blogging is that the writer in me cares way too much about what I write and it takes me too long to put something together. So, I have decided to just type away and not worry about making it all perfect. Which means you, any readers that are left, may have to provide me with a certain amount of grace if and when I cross the line and say something ridiculous or if my grammar isn't perfect (don't judge me based on my English degree). So here are some things that I am loving these days:

1. Aaron's scruffiness! (I have convinced him not to shave so close :)
2. Brody's smiles, laughs, and babbles and the way he smells after a bath
3. Showers that last more than 3 minutes
4. The fact that Kris Allen won American Idol
5. The weather ... when it isn't raining
6. Being at work more (which means I have to fight off the guilt of not being at home with Brody as much so it's a catch 22)
7. Crazy Love ... if you haven't read it ... DO! Now! and then ACT! It does not good if you don't change the way you live once you have the knowledge.
8. Feeling more like myself and not just a new mom
9. Going to yard sales EVERY Saturday
10. The fact that my parents are coming next weekend!

Well, now ... putting it in writing makes me realize how much I am loving life right now!

One other thing I wanted to mention. I hear a lot of new music at work and to be honest, so much of it is lost on me (I am an old school country kind of girl from the mountains of WV) but the other day in a meeting they played some new Switchfoot songs (that were amazing) and another song by a band we signed recently named Abandon. The very first line of this song, titled, Here We Are Now was: "I ask myself, what can I offer you? Can you use someone who already feels used?" Wow, that really resonated with me! The whole song was great but that one line jumped out at me ... Feeling like the veil has just been lifted from my post partum world, I get that "used up" feeling. There are days when I just feel like there isn't an ounce of me left to give to anyone and that goes against all the gifts that God has given me. He made me to be outgoing and lively and social ... an exhorter! And lack of sleep, time, energy, and constant caring for another helpless human robbed me of the ability to be that person again. While I was off whining about the fact that I didn't know where I fit into my own life anymore God had given me this amazing kid and that is what needed my attention at that moment ... to sum it all up ... I know that in my "used" state ... God can use me the most because that is when there is less of me and more of Him. Ok, so publicly to the few readers of this blog and more importantly to the One who matters most I want to say, Jesus, use me ... however! To change a diaper, to encourage someone, to cook dinner, to listen, to give a hug, play in the floor! However Lord. Just put me to work!

Now, here are a few pics of our little man. You know I can't end without sharing!